2-17 haircut

My mom used to be a hair dresser when I was young. She did peoples hair out of our home, or sometimes drove to their house. She always did my hair, I never knew any different. When I was 13 I wanted her to cut my hair. I had really long hair and I wanted her to feather the sides like my cousin Traci. She cut it and when I looked in the mirror I cried. I couldn’t help it. I saw she had cut my hair short, like a mans short hair with a tail. I was so upset, I hated it. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but she started to cry when I was crying. Then my dad came and saw her upset and yelled at me for making her cry. It’s the most traumatic experience I ever had with my mom. We were very close when she was alive, she passed away 8 years ago. I would never hurt her feelings on purpose. It was so hard to deal with my hair. I was called a boy by other students and I felt so ugly. I became introverted and didn’t talk to hardly anyone. I was always a shy person, but this didn’t do anything but make it worse. I had few friends and didn’t join any groups or sports. I know it wasn’t all the hair, but I just felt so awkward and out of place.  I wanted to grow it out and she wouldn’t let me. I finally said I’m growing out, and when I was sixteen it was finally shoulder lenghth. I felt pretty again and had more confidence. I still didn’t participate in many school functions. Now I have long hair and when a hairdresser cuts my hair I’m always watchful and tell them just an inch. I tell them it’s me not you. I hate that experience and hate that I hurt my moms feelings.